January 2014
2
根本。就不好
張學友 - 離開以後
離開我以後我會習慣自卑
明天再偶遇我也不敢偷望你
晨早到午夜撲進漆黑想念你
離開我以後醉了會看到你
夢中方可永久地 接近你
字字句句如我心中说不出的话，往心上割。听着这首歌，工作，心隐隐在痛， 难过了一天也过了。
字字句句如我心中说不出的话，往心上割。听着这首歌，工作，心隐隐在痛， 难过了一天也过了。
我应该怎么办。
3
黑暗+黑暗。
今天。恶梦惊醒。过着恶梦式的每一天，早上都是最则恶的开始。
过着失去你的每一天，梦。。如果转变成事实有多可怕，你。。知道吗？
今天礼拜五我。请了病假。
5
慢长。
日复日，分分秒秒。一直都想知道现在的你怎么样。开心吗没有我了更幸福吗？你快乐吗？
苦笑着这样想。疯狂似的一直刷新脸书和Whatsapp。 看不到你上线会等着期待着。至少我们会在做同样的事情，一样的频率。上线了，看着你的状态却莫名的害怕了。
至少社交媒体暂时还没有你们在一起的消息。。我应该因为这样而好过一点吗？并没有。
整个礼拜来陪着我的每一个人。无时无刻。我没有孤单过。没有能力自己一个人，总觉的一个人的空间好让人窒息难受。所以也很感谢抽出时间陪伴我的每一个人。你也包括在内。答应我任性的请求，最后一次。看着你，抱着你，牵着你的手走着，最后一次 kiss you goodbye。对不起我爱你。
16
淡淡忧伤
好像伤口慢慢愈合，想念若隱若現。
看着你写过的一字一句。我。从始至终到底做对了什么？
看着我们的照片。我。到底破坏了什么？
可是我不会放弃的。就算对不起你我也不愿放弃追逐我的爱情。
19
不爱，J。
因为他成了我们共同的回忆，
所以，
我。
不再爱听周杰伦。
21
存在
今天是什么让你想起我？收到你的讯息。
看着。。读着。想着或许你根本不懂我的怕。
太敏感的我是你写的每一句话都可能成为我的伤。
22
忌
把自己想要告诉你的事，传达的讯息电邮到你的电邮信箱。
连续两天，放纵自己。我不奢求你的回应。其实我很庆幸。
仿佛通过电邮找得到你。我认识的你，属于我的你。
面对现在的你，我不了解你的靠近。用意。
纵使我的害怕受伤而不能靠近。
每天的问候，纪念日的莅临。情人节。
去年的那些时候我们多快乐。幸福。
现在的你已和另外一个人开启下一段旅程了吗？写着彼此崭新的故事。
我也想祝福你的。
26
自讨
自讨
有时恶梦来的震惊，波涛汹涌。多些时候是缓缓的进略攻击。
白日梦的代价。我尝到了。
即使我尽量不这么想。心里那一点希望仍在作祟。
可是我不可以阻挡你得到幸福。同时也更确定自己的心。
我的任性你通融过了。现在换我。为你。
可能不足挂齿。可是我的能力也只能这样。
恶梦来的震惊却没有现实来的残酷。
27
.
.
不因该再追看下去了不是吗？
毕竟这就是我想躲开的事实。
February 2014
10
Hurt.10
3 days more.
Wake me up.
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost.
16
To ignore.
.
23
I know not.
For starters, I guess...(pauses for a second) life as I know it has definitely changed to a great extent. Looking back through an Instagram account, time. has flew by. We were almost at our anniversary almost there but everything was already in torns & tattered. I do not blame anyone for that. Young as I am, Thoughtless as it is, things spiraled down this way.
From here on, the time bar will be increasing every time I look back at the same account. 42 wks.. 52 wks. and it goes on. I feel for the hearsay about strangers to friends and to a state worse off than not knowing one another. I don't know what to do to get close to you. Risking that anything you say will indirectly hurt me, I chose not to reply to your texts. You might or might not be happier now. I'll bet saying you are. I hope there are ways that I managed to cheer you up that is unique to me. That would be worth something. I would be worth something.
2014, I would be allowing myself to make mistakes that I denied myself from. Being firm set on other issues (Like learning to say no for one). And moving towards the person I see myself as, to meet future S. This is a chapter in my life I would place down for now.
Of course I hope I would be able to pick everything up again in future. But what do I know about what the future holds. That's ok though. I will keep myself busy to my priorities for now. At least that way I will be ready come what may.
Sydney.
Destiny & ?
❋
Wake me up.
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost.
16
To ignore.
.
23
I know not.
For starters, I guess...(pauses for a second) life as I know it has definitely changed to a great extent. Looking back through an Instagram account, time. has flew by. We were almost at our anniversary almost there but everything was already in torns & tattered. I do not blame anyone for that. Young as I am, Thoughtless as it is, things spiraled down this way.
From here on, the time bar will be increasing every time I look back at the same account. 42 wks.. 52 wks. and it goes on. I feel for the hearsay about strangers to friends and to a state worse off than not knowing one another. I don't know what to do to get close to you. Risking that anything you say will indirectly hurt me, I chose not to reply to your texts. You might or might not be happier now. I'll bet saying you are. I hope there are ways that I managed to cheer you up that is unique to me. That would be worth something. I would be worth something.
2014, I would be allowing myself to make mistakes that I denied myself from. Being firm set on other issues (Like learning to say no for one). And moving towards the person I see myself as, to meet future S. This is a chapter in my life I would place down for now.
Of course I hope I would be able to pick everything up again in future. But what do I know about what the future holds. That's ok though. I will keep myself busy to my priorities for now. At least that way I will be ready come what may.
Sydney.
Destiny & ?
❋
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